I know this is very cliche to say but since I gave birth to Guru Che I've learned so much about myself and about my own moral values. Some lessons that I've probably wouldn't have ever gotten to learn if it wasn't for him. Of course, because they are lessons that came along with him they are also so related to motherhood but also with how I see the world, how I want to experience the world and what kind of experience I want to provide or facilitate for him.
Very often people ask me why we don't use a stroller (we do have one and we've used it twice haha). I think strollers can be very useful for some occasions, but I will always have a special place in my heart for babywearing.
The first thing I bought when I got pregnant was a baby carrier because I wanted to manifest that future closeness with my baby. That was part of my plan: to keep him close to me not only to nurture him, but to comfort him and because I wanted to make sure he was going to feel protected...never ignored or alone.
One of the many things I read while pregnant was about this awesome statistic that confirms that in cultures where babywearing its a "norm" babies cry WAY less than in "our" (Western) culture (I'm referring to an article written by Dr. Sears called "Benefits of Babywearing"). Dr. Sears called this babies that are worn "sling babies" (I absolutely love that term) and he points out the interesting differences between a baby that is worn and a baby that is not carried often, like for example: sling babies are less fussy.
"But of course...", said my mom once, "why would he cry? You are holding him!" Yes, mom, and there is nothing wrong to hold a baby that is crying. There is nothing wrong if what the baby wants is to be held. Consider the 4th trimester theory... Babies outside the womb are starting to get used to a whole new world. Its natural (and expected, for me) that my baby wants to be close to me as much as possible. He was inside of me for 9 months! He knows how my insides sound, for God sake! So, yeah, I do find beneficial that when I put my baby on my back or in his sling he gets calmer, usually ending in a good nap.
Dr. Sears says (and I believe this too now that I'm a mom) that in our society is normal to believe that babies cry a lot "...in Western culture we measure a baby's crying in hours, but in other cultures, crying is measured in minutes." Common sense then tells you: in cultures where the baby is carried often they cry maybe because they are hungry...(or wet? or cold?) If a baby is being held one of her most important needs is been met: closeness to her main source of nurture. If the mom is not carrying the baby, she will not wait longer to pick the baby up again... See the difference between hours and minutes? A gentle approach gives you a gentle response...no baby will "argue" to be carried. The response will always be love.
There is lovely~ness in wearing a baby; something very different from what I've experienced while using a stroller. On our walks, before Che falls asleep on my chest or on my back, I talk to him... I explain things to him. I encourage him to say hi to people or dogs. I tell him about colors, the weather. I ask him questions. With the strollers that kind of interaction is not viable. He is way "over there" and our experience seems completely different because we are not at the same "level". The same happens while we are at home. I enjoy having him close while I cook dinner and I certainly love looking at him experiencing the process of cooking with me. Dr. Sears talks about that too: what babies do when they don't fuss? They learn... "Sling babies spend more time in the state of quite alertness...Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditorial alertness." And connecting this thought with another one, Sears says that sling babies are smarter because there are many nerves being stimulated, allowing the brain to grow and develop. These babies are more attentive and almost interact in adult conversations and are also learning a valuable lesson: to listen. For Dr. Sears the act of wearing a baby "... enhances speech development."
And these are some of the things I've learned about myself while wearing Che... I understood more clearly what I wanted to give to the world as a mother and what kind of mother I'm becoming because of babywearing. I wanted to carry into mother Earth a more humanized human. SIMPLE. A human that wasn't exposed to crying just for the sake of crying or for the sake of making him "more independent". A human that will remember being in his mom's arms for most of his childhood: learning, laughing, maybe going through some teething and crying...but close to his mom. A human that was treated with respect because he deserves it. A human that was encouraged to explore.
I've learned that its pure instinct the need of being close to your baby, to be gentle to that soul that will become what they experience; what they will remember. I've learned that if I want the world to be a better, more peaceful world I needed to start growing it with my own seed. I can't wait for others to change the world for me.
So, yeah. We are in the process of changing the world... Two arms and one sling at a time.
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